(WIDK By Staff Writer BIANCA COOMBS) - In part due to the film “Friends With Benefits” (starring Justin Timberlake and Mila Kunis), hard working, jaded women everywhere have been secretly asking themselves if it is actually possible to have sex, no strings attached.
Is friends with benefits realistic for women?
First, let me start by defining “Friends With Benefits.” A Friend With Benefits as defined by the Dictionary of Mediashrews (not real by the way) is that friend you can call for a sexual healing when you’re single and horny. Neither one of you put pressure on each other to call, spend quality sexless time, or do all the other boring things monogamous people do.
You make an agreement to never develop feelings for one another and move on when either one of you meets the “one.” Basically, it’s a guiltless booty call. But is it a possibility for those of us who are love obsessed? By those of us who are love obsessed, I mean women. Here are some pros and cons of being Friends With Benefits.
Great Sex! What more is there to say? The stress that comes with relationships can be unbearable. Sometimes the bifurcation of sex and relationships is not only necessary but extremely gratifying.
Not Having To Buy Gifts. When you are in a friends with benefits type relationship, you do not have to fret about buying gifts for a lover’s birthday, Valentine’s Day, and the biggest burden of all, the expensive anniversary. You don’t even have to remember the anniversary. You don’t even have to remember each other’s names!
No Emotions. Emotions can be quite messy. When you love someone, you become subject to jealousy, anger, sadness, and stress. After all, there is a thin line between love and hate. When you have a friend with benefits, you don’t have to go through the drama of checking a facebook page the day after an argument and seeing that dreadful single status. There’s no going through phones, or searching dresser drawers while your lover’s asleep (don’t act like you’ve never done it!).
Crabs. A friend with benefits has no loyalty to you so they are free to have sex with anyone else. Men cheat in committed relationships, what do you think will happen when you give them permission?
No Emotions. This can also be a con because you’re a flesh and blood human being. Spending intimate time with someone, whether it’s for 2 hours or 2 minutes, can cause you to develop emotions and emotions cause you to act erratically or worse… get hurt. Picture this: You’re all fancied up, you put on some Barry White and call Old Reliable over for a dalliance because you’ve just undergone a really bad break up. He doesn’t pick up the phone, or worse, he does pick up the phone and informs you that he’s found the one. Whether you love the guy or not, being ditched for someone else can feel like a punch in the gut. Women outnumber men and you must always be aware of the possibility that he will find someone special before you do (if you do at all).
The fact is no relationship is easy. Whether it’s a meaningful or shallow relationship, issues will arise and it is important that you know yourself. You know what you can and can’t handle. If you can’t take the heat, get the hell out of the kitchen.
Bianca Coombs is the co- creator of twomediashrews.com, an everything media and then some blog. She is the creator of Quit Being And Idiot: A Relationship Guide For The Shrew.