Things I Wish No One Would Tell Me

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Train designed without restrooms; disposable bags for emergency use

AMSTERDAM (AP) — The Dutch national railway has an unusual solution for passengers who need the bathroom on a train line designed without them: plastic bags.

dutch national railway

NS spokesman Eric Trinthamer confirmed Friday the “pee-bag” plan is not a joke.

The rail operator underlined that the bags, introduced Friday, are for use in emergencies only, when a train has stopped and passengers can’t be evacuated. The idea has been met with incredulity by politicians and the general public already unhappy with the short-haul “Sprinter” trains’ bathroomless design.

NS spokesman Eric Trinthamer confirmed Friday the “pee-bag” plan is not a joke. The bags are kept out of sight in the conductor’s booth.

The bags have a cup-shaped plastic top and contain a highly absorbent material that turns urine into a gel-like mixture. After use the bags can be sealed and thrown in the trash.

Since when are these signs called speed humps and not speed bumps?  At any rate, we recommend slowing down for this one!

Source: Imgur
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Since when are these signs called speed humps and not speed bumps?  At any rate, we recommend slowing down for this one!

Source: Imgur

Source: Imgur
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Cops found Michigan couple in back seat of steamy Buick Regal

When the officer opened the vehicle’s rear door and asked the nude couple what they were doing, Tim Adams offered a concise answer. “I’m fucking this chick,” he said.
OCTOBER 5 (The Smoking Gun) — A naked 71-year-old woman and her equally clothes-free male companion, 54, were arrested last month for indecent exposure after a Michigan cop found them trysting in the back seat of a Buick Regal that was rocking gently and had its windows steamed over, according to a police report.
When the officer opened the vehicle’s rear door and asked the nude couple what they were doing, Tim Adams offered a concise answer. “I’m fucking this chick,” he said.
Yes, Adams referred to his septuagenarian consort, Rita Daniels, as a “chick.”
According to a City of Farmington Police report, Daniels’s 2002 Buick (license plate: DIVA 145) was in a shopping center parking lot, adjacent to a restaurant whose customers, including a 10-year-old-boy, apparently had a view of the illicit nighttime action on September 3.
Officer Andrew Morche noted that the car’s windows “were covered with heavy condensation,” and that Daniels was atop Adams “and the two were engaged in sexual activities.” The pair was parked in a spot outside the restaurants Luigi’s and Tre Sorelle.
A police investigation determined that the couple’s courtship was a brief one. They had met for drinks at a nearby bar “before moving to the back seat of the Buick.” When questioned by cops, neither Daniels nor Adams—both of whom were unsteady and smelled of booze—knew the other’s name. A Breathalyzer test recorded Daniels’s blood alcohol content as .15, nearly twice the state limit.
Daniels and Adams were busted for indecent exposure and disorderly intoxication and booked into the local jail, where they were held until sobriety returned. While in custody, cops noted, “Adams decided to strip to his underwear.”
Misdemeanor charges against Daniels and Adams, who are pictured in the above mug shots, are pending in Michigan’s 48th District Court.
Original Article

Cops found Michigan couple in back seat of steamy Buick Regal

When the officer opened the vehicle’s rear door and asked the nude couple what they were doing, Tim Adams offered a concise answer. “I’m fucking this chick,” he said.

OCTOBER 5 (The Smoking Gun) — A naked 71-year-old woman and her equally clothes-free male companion, 54, were arrested last month for indecent exposure after a Michigan cop found them trysting in the back seat of a Buick Regal that was rocking gently and had its windows steamed over, according to a police report.

When the officer opened the vehicle’s rear door and asked the nude couple what they were doing, Tim Adams offered a concise answer. “I’m fucking this chick,” he said.

Yes, Adams referred to his septuagenarian consort, Rita Daniels, as a “chick.”

According to a City of Farmington Police report, Daniels’s 2002 Buick (license plate: DIVA 145) was in a shopping center parking lot, adjacent to a restaurant whose customers, including a 10-year-old-boy, apparently had a view of the illicit nighttime action on September 3.

Officer Andrew Morche noted that the car’s windows “were covered with heavy condensation,” and that Daniels was atop Adams “and the two were engaged in sexual activities.” The pair was parked in a spot outside the restaurants Luigi’s and Tre Sorelle.

A police investigation determined that the couple’s courtship was a brief one. They had met for drinks at a nearby bar “before moving to the back seat of the Buick.” When questioned by cops, neither Daniels nor Adams—both of whom were unsteady and smelled of booze—knew the other’s name. A Breathalyzer test recorded Daniels’s blood alcohol content as .15, nearly twice the state limit.

Daniels and Adams were busted for indecent exposure and disorderly intoxication and booked into the local jail, where they were held until sobriety returned. While in custody, cops noted, “Adams decided to strip to his underwear.”

Misdemeanor charges against Daniels and Adams, who are pictured in the above mug shots, are pending in Michigan’s 48th District Court.

(WIDK) — There is that awkward feeling we all have when we hold a door open for someone, or when someone holds a door open for us - if the distance exceeds a certain amount.  Should the person for whom the door is being held race to the door to alleviate the awkwardness?

Source: Imgur
Original Article

(WIDK) — There is that awkward feeling we all have when we hold a door open for someone, or when someone holds a door open for us - if the distance exceeds a certain amount.  Should the person for whom the door is being held race to the door to alleviate the awkwardness?

Source: Imgur

Cat on top of door
Source: Ingur
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Cat on top of door

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Absolutely riveting.
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Absolutely riveting.

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“I think I might be sleeping alone tonight.”
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“I think I might be sleeping alone tonight.”

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On the highway…
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On the highway…

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What does that look convey?
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What does that look convey?

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Message from a ballet dancer.
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Message from a ballet dancer.

Dog is conveying a message…
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Dog is conveying a message…

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 Submitted to WIDK by Jean Hoefer Ortiz

My neighbor got a pre-declined credit card in the mail.
Wives are having sex with their husbands because they can’t afford batteries.
CEO’s are now playing miniature golf.
Exxon-Mobil laid off 25 Congressmen.
A stripper was killed when her audience showered her with rolls of pennies while she danced.
I saw a Mormon with only one wife.
If the bank returns your check marked “Insufficient Funds,” you call them and ask if they meant you or them.
McDonald’s is selling the 1/4 ouncer.
Angelina Jolie adopted a child from America.
Parents in Beverly Hills fired their nannies and learned their children’s names.
My cousin had an exorcism but couldn’t afford to pay for it, and they re-possessed her!
A truckload of Americans was caught sneaking into Mexico.
A picture is now only worth 200 words.
When Bill and Hillary travel together, they now have to share a room.
The Treasure Island casino in Las Vegas is now managed by Somali pirates.
And finally….
16. I was so depressed last night thinking about the economy, wars, jobs, my savings, Social Security, retirement funds, etc., I called the Suicide Hotline. I got a call center in Pakistan, and when I told them I was suicidal, they got all excited, and asked if I could drive a truck.
Original Article

 Submitted to WIDK by Jean Hoefer Ortiz

  1. My neighbor got a pre-declined credit card in the mail.
  2. Wives are having sex with their husbands because they can’t afford batteries.
  3. CEO’s are now playing miniature golf.
  4. Exxon-Mobil laid off 25 Congressmen.
  5. A stripper was killed when her audience showered her with rolls of pennies while she danced.
  6. I saw a Mormon with only one wife.
  7. If the bank returns your check marked “Insufficient Funds,” you call them and ask if they meant you or them.
  8. McDonald’s is selling the 1/4 ouncer.
  9. Angelina Jolie adopted a child from America.
  10. Parents in Beverly Hills fired their nannies and learned their children’s names.
  11. My cousin had an exorcism but couldn’t afford to pay for it, and they re-possessed her!
  12. A truckload of Americans was caught sneaking into Mexico.
  13. A picture is now only worth 200 words.
  14. When Bill and Hillary travel together, they now have to share a room.
  15. The Treasure Island casino in Las Vegas is now managed by Somali pirates.

And finally….

16. I was so depressed last night thinking about the economy, wars, jobs, my savings, Social Security, retirement funds, etc., I called the Suicide Hotline. I got a call center in Pakistan, and when I told them I was suicidal, they got all excited, and asked if I could drive a truck.

Is this acceptable?
Source: Imgur
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Is this acceptable?

Source: Imgur

This hunting dog needs better training.
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This hunting dog needs better training.

Source: Imgur